Week 9 Results and a Few Rants about DWTS

So last night was results & elimination on DWTS and I was pretty disappointed.  Brandy went home and Bristol is moving on to the Finals.  What the...  Okay, yes, I've been progressively more & more impressed with Bristol.  She really came out & proved me wrong several times.  But she's NOT as good a dancer as Brandy.  What a travesty of democracy.  Oh well.
Three things I haven't been brutally honest about while blogging this season: Kyle, Carrie Ann & Brook.

First, I have to say Kyle surprises me & did so again on Monday night with his Samba.  I've been hesitant to say much about the chubby factor but here it is.  He's a chubby guy, I'm always sure the chub will slow him down and honestly sometimes it does.  The thing is that the extra weight can slow him down which keeps him from really hitting those sharp steps the way I expect, it prevents him from really getting the extension he needs, the arching & the lines needed in the ballroom...  but sometimes he just busts out something surprising and I am utterly amazed.  And that's what he did in his Samba Monday night.  That chubby butt shook like nobodies business!

So on to Carrie Ann.  More and more I think she's a hater.  Granted, Bristol is the weakest dancer and didn't deserve any 10's on Monday night in my opinion, but I don't think she deserved the 8 Carrie Ann gave her.  I feel like Carrie Ann plays favorites and doesn't give love to the ones she doesn't like, even when they improve.  She harps on Bristol's emotional disconnect and criticizes it even when I think the emotion & character were far improved.

Last, I have to say Brook needs to go!  I've mentioned it before but holy hell that girl bugs me!  Enough with the "How does that make you feel?" questions!  You're a co-host, not a therapist!  She's kind of an air head, she's not entertaining, her questions suck...  she's really just a pretty face and a hot body dressed up in an endless supply of beautiful evening gowns.  Anyone can do that.  ABC - get Tom a new girl please!

So there you have it.  Next Monday is the final competition night!  Jennifer Gray, Kyle Massey and Bristol Palin will battle it out for the mirror ball and one will take it home on Tuesday!  I'm excited!

Episode Two Hundred... and One. The DWTS Results.

The nights started out with a repeat performance of Team Apolo's Cha Cha Cha.  Then they got right down to the first set of results with a couple from the top and one from the bottom: Brandy & Maks and Bristol & Mark are up in the spotlights first.  The first couple safe is Brandy & Maks.  They'll definitely be back next Monday night.  Bristol & Mark were left in jeopardy.

In keeping with last night's celebratory theme, Tom announced they would be giving some awards throughout the hour.  In the first awards Segment the award was for the Most Dramatic Moment.
Nominees:
Christian's Arm Injury
Kate & Tony's Fight
Misty May's Achilles Injury
Marie Osmond's Collapse
Kelly's Wardrobe Malfunction
And the award goes to Marie Osmond who fainted after her Samba in season 5.

The Macy's Stars of Dance performance tonight was done by the Broadway cast of Mary Poppins.  First of all I love DWTS.  Second I have loved musicals my entire life.  I'm a sucker for a musical.  And third, Mary Poppins was one of my first favorite musicals growing up!  So I loved it.  Loved loved loved it.  Mary Poppins was great and I absolutely loved her exit out on an umbrella!

I'm not a huge Taylor Swift fan but you have to be living under a rock if you haven't heard Mine.  And I loved the glitter guitar!

The next award given was the Best Worst Dancer award.  The nominees...
Kenny Mayne
Master P
Kate Gosselin
Steve Wozniak
Billy Ray Cyrus
And the award went to Kenny Mayne who really sucked it up for a single episode in the second season.

The elimination continued for the other top scoring couple, Jennifer & Derek as well as Rick & Cheryl.  The next couple safe to dance next week is Jennifer & Derek.  I'm glad for that.  I'm still pulling for Jennifer.  And so Rick & Cheryl were put into jeopardy.

The predictable bunch of celebs wishing DWTS a Happy Birthday made me yawn... then they jumped into another award, the Biggest (male) Dancer Transformation.  The nominees were:
Derek Hough (the perfect blond hair)
Tony Dovilani (the blinding white teeth)
Maksim Chmerkovsky (the mullet)
Mark Ballas (showing off the abs)
Louis VanAmstel (the pony tail)
And the Golden Pony Tail Award goes to Louis VanAmstel!

And then Rod Stewart performed I Get A Kick Out Of You.  What a great song that is!  And I've always enjoyed Rod Stewart - he's a great performer.  He even danced a little.  Obviously the shadowdancers did most of the real dancing but Rod can definitely shake it!

The next award was the Best Judges Moments.  This time, rather than announcing nominees and awarding a winner, they chose several winning moments and edited a montage of moments for first Carey Anne, then Len & Bruno. 

The final pre-elimination segment had Kyle & Lacey up in lights next to Kurt & Anna.  The next couple safe to bicker some more, Kurt & Anna.  Which means Kyle & Lacey were in jeopardy.  So the final elimination round was between Kyle & Lacey, Rick & Cheryl and Bristol & Mark.

So remember how I said I'm not a huge Taylor Swift fan?  Well obviously, because I never heard the next song she did.  But I remember some of the classic clips they played on the screen behind her.  As much as I don't like the boring celebrity Happy Birthday tapes, is how much I do like the best-of packets.  Love'em!

And Oh. My. God.  They're doing an "instant dance" next week, where they know the dance style but won't know the song they're dancing to until they go on the air!  Oh wow.  That is gonna be really fun to watch!

At last, the final elimination.  Of the three couples,  Rick & Cheryl were sent home and I'm pretty shocked!  I'm sad because honestly I think both Bristol & Kyle should have gone home before Rick.  I guess he just didn't have the votes.  So sad.

Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke - DWTS Season 11

Rick Fox is well named.  And he can move on the court.  But can he move, and be a fox, on the dance floor?  That remains to be seen.  He's got the right partner if he's serious about getting the mirror ball trophy.  Cheryl is goal oriented.  This is her 9th season and she's taken home two mirror balls of her own in the 2nd and 3rd seasons.  She'll work Rick Fox as hard as he ever worked as a Laker.  I think they're a great pair.  I hope they do well.

Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer - DWTS Season 11

First, I have to say: Racy Lacey as a blonde just isn't doin' it for me!  I thought she was a sexy counterpoint to all the bubble-gum blonds on the show.  Now she kinda blends in with Kym, Julianne & Chelsie.  No offense to those lovely ladies - I just thought Lacey had a good thing going.  Ah well, I guess we can just let the whole season be a do-over.  I don't know anything about this Kyle kid but he doesn't look like he can dance...  maybe they'll both surprise me.

Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya - DWTS Season 11

Kurt Warner is one of my favorite football players.  First, he's got such a great cinderella-story.  Second, that awesome cinderella story of his is what finally ruined my favorite quotable stat about a dome team never winning the Superbowl!  Football players have a mixed record on DWTS.  Jerry Rice (and Anna Trebunskaya coincidentally) came very close to winning the mirror ball trophy in Season 2.  Then in Season 3, Emmit Smith did take the mirror ball home.  Jerry is joined by 2 more NFL stars who made it to 2nd place: Jason Taylor in season 6, and Warren Sapp in season 7.  In season 8 though, Lawrence Taylor only made it as far as 7th place.  And just last season Chad Ochocinco made it to 4th but clearly benefited from the fan vote to get him so far.  So we'll have to wait and see how well Warner does.
Anna has partnered 5 other stars: she's made it to 2nd place twice and landed below 10 the other three times.  She's a great dancer but when she was dancing with Evan Lysacek I noticed that she didn't quite rise to the occasion the way Derek Hough did.  He brought every drop of determination and pushed his partner to the limit.  His choreography reflected his knowledge that the final dance was their defining moment and last chance to set themselves apart from every other couple that came before them.  Anna kind of seemed to crack under that pressure.

David Hasselhoff and Kym Johnson - DWTS Season 11

The Hoff! I'll admit I was excited about this one! Come on, be honest... if you've seen the drunken burger eating video you must be a little curious to see if that Hoff makes an appearance. I suppose he'll be on better behavior since it's abc, as opposed to his daughters YouTube channel, but you never know - we might get lucky.
As far as skill, we know The Hoff has been in several Broadway shows.  That means we can't count him out as a dancer.  So he might be just barely acceptable, but he might be this seasons Donny Osmond. 
And speaking of Donny, Kym partnered him as well.  Personally I think she's the perfect choice!  She's cute, feisty, and doesn't fade into the background when she's with a strong personality - she's perfect for an older ladies man like the Hoff.  I really hope he holds on for a while because I'd like to see what he brings to the show.  Good luck Hoff!

Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino and Karina Smirnoff - DWTS Season 11

I know absolutely nothing about Mike "the situation" Sorrentino, other than the fact that he's on MTV's Jersey Shore and was unable to get to the photo shoot that every other celeb managed to attend a couple weeks ago so there's no picture of he and Karina, his dance partner.  But the other day I was scanning the program guide on TV and saw that Jersey Shore was on MTV at the moment so I flipped to it.  My husband gave me a look that seemed to ask if I was feeling alright.  But I ignored him and pressed on.  When I joined Jersey Shores, Snookie & JWoww were covered in plastic bags, cleaning the "smoosh room" so Snookie and her latest male friend could spend some time there without Jwoww being forced to listen to them moan all night in their shared bedroom.  These girls were wearing huge plastic bags!  On their heads!  I found myself hoping one of those girls would suffocate and save me from the complete stupidity.  It was that bad.  I couldn't watch long enough to get a glimpse of Sorrentino, but I really hope he brings a little more interest and intelligence to DWTS than I saw from the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.  Chances are he's a total meat head who isn't good for much more than showing off his 6-pack to all of America, but we can hope he shows us something worth watching.
This will be Karina Smirnoff's eighth season as a pro on DWTS, but she has yet to earn a mirror ball.  I'm not sure if that's because of her past partners or her teaching skills but I have no doubt she'll push Sorrentino out of his comfort zone.  I'll have to with hold any opinions for now since I just don't know with this guy...

Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower - DWTS Season 11

I'm just going to come out and say it for the record right now: When I was 13 I had a little crush on Michael Bolton.  Really you can't be too hard on me - he was better looking than my little boyfriend and he definitely had a handle on romance that was sadly lacking in most 13 year old boys.  With that out of the way, now I have to admit that I got a little giggly again when I saw his first DWTS publicity shot.  Can you blame me? Look at that smile!  It screams "I still know more about romance than any other boy you know."  Not that I'm saying he's right, just sayin...  And you know he loves women since The Michael Bolton Charities focuses mainly on helping women who are victims of violence.  You have to admire that. 
So does any of this mean he can dance?  I suppose not.  But it means I'll definitely watch to find out!
I wonder if Chelsie ever crushed on him.  Probably not...  she's a bit too young.  But I bet he's got a little crush on Chelsie...  really though, who doesn't?  She's so cute even I have a teeny crush on her.  And with three previous seasons dancing on the show, she's definitely due for her own mirror ball!  So I suppose I'd like to see this pair do well - but right now I'm not picking any favorites.

Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas - DWTS Season 11

I'm not sold on Bristol Palin. I knew nothing of her but the smiley plastic face she brought to her mothers run for the vice presidency in 2008. Then I heard the teen-mom scandal and all the drama between her & her baby-daddy. Then I heard she was back at home under her photo-op-moms wing. Then I heard she'd hooked up with her baby-daddy again, and used Us Magazine to break the news to Mom. Then I heard her baby-daddy just wanted a reality show deal so she's back to single-teen-mom status and playing nice with Mom again. But I certainly don't begrudge anyone their experiences in life, and if you know me you know I'm certainly no stranger to baby-daddy drama.  And you know, I don't even begrudge her choice to use the media to fuel her over dramatic mother-daughter relationship.  I made a lot of crazy choices when I was young (now I make different crazy choices).  So who am I to judge?  Still, all of this does not a star make.  It makes her a politicians spoiled teen daughter who's caught some limelight.
Another thing that bothers me about Bristol: As a notable teen mom she has a lot of opportunity to reach other teens. She started out advocating abstinence then later (when she split from Mom briefly) came out saying she felt teaching abstinence was unrealistic and teens should be learning about birth control options etc. After her reconciliation with Mom, she was back to supporting Mom's party line of abstinence. I like my waffles with breakfast only, thanks. I'm not clear what her message is now but I know she's a Teen Ambassador for The Candie’s Foundation, to prevent teen and unplanned pregnancy.  How she advocates preventing these unplanned pregnancies, I don't know.
However, most of this drama and craziness is kids stuff.  The back & forth, the drama with mom, most kids have been through it - certainly I'm no saint.  And I've seen experiences like this turn a braterpillar turn into Butterfly.  Having a baby can push the whole growing up process along as well!  So we'll have to see.  She'll have to show me some great dance moves and a fun, willing, go-getter attitude before I'll call her number.

Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas - DWTS Season 11

Let's face it, Mrs. Brady can do anything! So I won't be a bit surprised if she floats around like she was born in a ballroom.  She played Anna in The King And I, so she can dance the Waltz at the very least.  She's really done it all over the years - TV news and series shows, movies, stage performances, including light opera & Broadway, a one-woman show, speaking engagements, celebrity endorsement deals, talk show host, producer...  So however things turn out I'm positive she's taking this on with everything she's got.
I'm excited to see Corky Ballas back for another season!  His short lived pairing with Cloris Leachman was unfortunate in every way except it's life span - hopefully this will be less painful to watch.  He's quite an accomplished dancer with several ballroom titles to his credit, and could be a fabulous teacher if Marc is any indication.
I don't think this pair will go all the way but I'm not counting them out.

Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani - DWTS Season 11

Most of us know Audrina Patridge from 6 seasons on The Hills, but she's also ventured into film, appeared as a guest in several other TV shows and has signed on with several ad campaigns.  The 25 year old MTV "reality" star may or may not be able to dance.
She & Tony will be dancing the Cha cha cha & Foxtrot on the September 20th premier.  The Cha cha cha requires quite a lot of hip movement so we'll see right away if she's at all wooden. As for the Foxtrot, there's some fancy footwork (not as difficult as say, the quickstep but still), and a still upper body so we'll see how well she holds her frame.
Tony is a personal favorite of mine so I hope he does well.  He's a great dancer and he's not bad to look at either.  Hopefully he can teach his partner a thing or two and they'll stick around a bit.

Margaret Cho with Louis Van Amstel - DWTS Season 11

Margaret Cho is a pretty busy girl!  Stand-up comedy, books, regular T.V. appearances. a musical comedy album, equal rights advocacy works, she's on tour...  sounds like my kinda gal.  Honestly I don't know much about her but with a tattoo-gun holstered on her upper-thigh, what's not to love?  I have no idea if she dances or has any rhythm at all, but it seems likely that she'll be fun to have in the ballroom.  She'll be entertaining at least.
And one thing I know about Louis VanAmstel: he's a great dance teacher!  When he had Kelly Osborne in Season 9, they started out kind of rough around the edges.  But over the course of the season, he did amazing things with her and they ended up going all the way to the finals!  So I'm excited to see what they bring to the floor.  And I'm very excited to see him next week on The Bachelor Pad!

Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough - DWTS Season 11

I love Jennifer Grey! Every time I think of her I see her dancing in that flowy pink dress... or leaning petulantly against the wall at the end of the school hallway in Ferris Bueler's Day Off.  She actually looked like she wished her brother really were at the brink of death. Two great classics I was raised on - ah how they make me smile.
So we've all seen Jennifer Grey rule a dance floor (if you haven't, log in to Netflix at your earliest convenience and add Dirty Dancing to your queue. You probably haven't seen Ghostbusters either have you...) which means we know it's in her somewhere. But she's quick to point out that she's now 50 years old and Dirty Dancing was almost 25 years ago. But I hear 50 is the new 30 so I'm not cutting her any slack. I think she's got the potential to do really well and I'm pulling for her!
I'm very excited that she's paired with Derek. He's a talented partner and should be able to pull a lot of hard work and great dancing out of her.  And how about this picture huh?  She's already giving us some steamy attitude.

Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy - DWTS Season 11

As my grandmother always said... Ladies First! So we'll start off with Brandy (and Maks)!
Let me first say that my guess for who will take home the mirror ball will definitely change. It's entirely possible it will change every week between now and the finale.
That said, my knee jerk reaction was to say Brandy has the best chance right now - at the very least, she has the most advantage right out of the gate. But upon reflection, I'm not sure of that. I'm not a huge R&B fan (I like & listen but can't say I buy CD's) or an avid MTV viewer so I could be way off, but I haven't seen much actual DANCING from Brandy. I know... most of us think of R&B and we think of great dance ability. Well I've seen a lot of foot planting and hip shaking from Brandy... and not much else. Anyone seen something more?
I hope she does well and I hope she has fun. And I do love beautiful Maks so I'd love to see them on the show for a good portion of the season.

DWTS Season 11 Pro Pairings

Just announced today, here is the list of Star/Pro pairings for the coming season of Dancing With The Stars.

As for the ladies, Brandy will dance with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Jennifer Grey will dance with Derek Hough, Margaret Cho will dance with Louis Van Amstel, Audrina Patridge will dance with Tony Dovolani, Florence Henderson will dance with Corky Ballas and Bristol Palin will dance with Mark Ballas.

And for the men, Michael Bolton will dance with Chelsie Hightower, Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino will dance with Karina Smirnoff, David Hasselhoff will dance with Kym Johnson, Kurt Warner will dance with Anna Trebunskaya, Kyle Massey will dance with Lacey Schwimmer and Rick Fox will dance with Cheryl Burke.