We open with the principal telling Sue & Will that The Cheerios and New Directions are both getting a 10% budget cut. And where is the money going? To the football team and the new (questionably) female football coach, Coach Beiste. Coach Beiste refers to herself as "The Panther", talks about herself in the third person, and proceeds to cut every member of the football team, informing them they all have to try out again. Because of the budget cuts, Sue and Will team up to bring down The Beiste. They start by ordering a bunch of pizza's Beiste is forced to pay for. After the impromptu team pizza party, Beiste announces practice is still on and the first 10 guys who puke are off the team. Later, Beiste is snubbed in the faculty lounge by Sue & Will and retreats to the locker room to cry. When Finn arrives, pushing Artie in his chair, and asks if Artie can go out for the team, Beiste figures she's still the butt of everyone's joke and kicks Finn off the team. Eventually Will realizes the 'Mean Girl' tactics Sue is employing just aren't his style. He makes peace with the Beiste and Sue vows they'll both regret crossing her.
Glee kicks the music off this season with Empire State of Mind and I think that's a fabulous choice. The song is big, the hope is big, the city is big... it seems to fit. The kids break into song at lunchtime to hype up the kids in order to increase sign ups for the club. Nationals are in New York this year and they figure students will be enticed by the idea of a trip to the big apple. But we see they're still social outcasts because when the song is over they may as well have been invisible for all the attention they got.
Still, a couple students notice the number and seem to be a tad interested. Rachel notices a new Philipino girl watching her during the lunch time performance, and then sees her later in the bathroom. In her Rachely ignorant nice/not-nice way, she invites Sunshine to join glee club, telling her they need back up singers for her solos. Sunshine politely agrees, then reinserts her earbuds and begins to sing Telephone with a crystal clear voice. Rachel quickly realizes this tiny Philipino girl is much more than a back-up singer! What follows is a little dueling Telephone in the girls room between Rachel and Sunshine... till Sue bursts in and shouts at them. "Shut up!" Still, Sunshine's excited to join glee till Rachel starts thinking her beautiful voice is a threat to her own time in the spot light and gives Sunshine a wrong address for glee club try outs. Off goes Sunshine - to a crack house. Sunshine shows up to sing for the glee club despite Rachel's antics, and belts out a rousing rendition of Listen from Dreamgirls. I was thoroughly impressed. But before Will can welcome her to the club, Sue has called Vocal Adrenaline and tipped them off to the new prize at William McKinley High School. And just like that Sunshine's mom has a green card and a new condo and Sunshine is ushered off to join the enemy.
Nestled within the drama between Rachel & Sunshine, Finn notices another new kid who is very into the lunchtime performance. Finn invites Sam into the glee room for a jam session and the new kid busts out a guitar and starts singing Billionaire. Most of the guys like him and he plans to return the next day to join up. Unfortunately, by the end of the show, Sam's seen the bad opinion most of the school has of glee club and decides not to commit social suicide. Instead he passes on glee club.
In all this, Quinn shows up at Cheerios try-outs and is greeted immediately by Sue telling her "No way, get out. I don't want you anywhere near my squad. You'll deafen them with the sound of your stretch marks rubbing together." Oh my god I almost put milk out my nose in that moment. But Quinn calmly points out that Sue's just lost 10% of her budget and there are many church groups that would donate to a squad that is rehabilitating a teen mom who now speaks out for abstinence. Wait... does Quinn advocate abstinence now? Is it even legal to be an abstinent cheerleader in this country? I'm sure Quinn was back on the squad in that moment but then we see Santana arrive in Sue's office to be dressed down for getting a boob job. Sue informs her she's been demoted and Quinn will replace her as head cheerleader. Watching Quinn zip her cheer uniform, cinch her pony tail and strut down the hall, feeling so good to be back on top, made me smile. It's a geat feeling. Not that the strutting lasts long - Quinn is blindsided and slammed into a row of lockers by a very angry Santana, and cat-fight style drama ensues. Quinn doesn't even try to deny that she told their coach about Santana's boob job and after a little more slapping & hair pulling, it's all over. Frankly the whole scene was just like a visit to my sister's house.
At the end of the show, Sunshine and her new coach have just made their dramatic exit, and the team is crushed. Finn urges Rachel to apologize to glee and she agrees, saying she'll meet him & the rest of the club in a minute. Then she puts on her big sad eyes and starts to sing a show tune: What I Did For Love which left me thoroughly not impressed. It just didn't fit. Rachel didn't do it for love! She did it for her own selfish reasons, as usual. Her stupid excuses throughout the episode never do ring true. She doesn't give a shit about her fellow glee club members. "Tina, Mike... I mean, what if Sunshine can dance? Then your contributions to glee would be even more insignificant than they are now. I did this for you guys." Ha! Rachel does it all for herself.
So we find that we're going into a new year and not one new student has signed up for glee club. I don't really like that plot turn and I hope someone transfers in soon or something happens because I think it's just stupid that they've got these new kids that don't join. Someone would want to sing. So we'll see. I think the addition of Dot Jones as Coach Beiste is brilliant. I'm eager to see what she brings to the table when Sue & Will's feud becomes a triangle. So hopefully they'll get some new students in soon. In the meantime, I'm pretty damn excited for the Britney episode next week!
OMG! Reality Rachel, I was almost spitting out my nose from reading your synopsis of Glee. Coach Beiste is a BRILLIANT addition! Can't wait!
ReplyDelete